为什么我们要担复兴大任_为什么我们要撒如此多的谎呢?

更新时间:2020-10-17 来源:英语阅读 点击:

【www.feic31.com--英语阅读】

罗伯特·费尔德曼是马萨诸塞大学的一位心理学教授。他学术生涯中的大部分时间都在研究“欺骗”在人与人关系中扮演的角色。费尔德曼的新书《你生活中的谎言:谎言如何欺骗了我们以及它影射出的我们自己》不客气地阐述了如今撒谎是一种多么普遍的现象。他接受了《时代周刊》的采访,谈到为什么我们都需要那么一点儿 “诚实”。

A professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Robert Feldman has spent most of his career studying the role deception plays in human relationships. His most recent book, The Liar in Your Life: How Lies Work and What They Tell Us About Ourselves, lays out in stark terms just how prevalent lying has become. He talked to TIME about why we all need a dose of honesty.

What are the main findings of your research?
Not only do we lie frequently, but we lie without even thinking about it. People lie while they are getting acquainted an average of three times in a 10-minute period. Participants in my studies actually are not aware that they are lying that much until they watch videos of their interactions.



One of the reasons people get away with so much lying, your research suggests, is that we are all essentially dupes. Why do we believe so many lies?

This is what I call the liar's advantage. We are not very good at detecting deception in other people. When we are trying to detect honesty, we look at the wrong kinds of nonverbal behaviors, and we misinterpret them. The problem is that there is no direct correlation between someone's nonverbal behavior and their honesty. "Shiftiness" could also be the result of being nervous, angry, distracted or sad. Even trained interrogators [aren't] able to detect deception at [high] rates. You might as well flip a coin to determine if someone is being honest.

What's more, a lot of the time, we don't want to detect lies in other people. We are unwilling to put forward the cognitive effort to suspect the veracity of statements, and we aren't motivated to question people when they tell us things we want to hear. When we ask someone, "How are you doing?" and they say, "Fine," we really don't want to know what their aches and pains are. So we take "Fine" at face value.

Do you feel deception is a particularly relevant topic to our society?  
We are living in a time and culture in which it's easier to lie than it has been in the past. The message that pervades society is that it's O.K. to lie — you can get away with it. One of the things I found in my research is that when you confront people with their lies, they very rarely display remorse. Lying is not seen as being morally reprehensible in any strong way.

You can make the assumption that because it often makes social interactions go more smoothly, lying is O.K. But there is a cost to even seemingly benign lies. If people are always telling you that you look terrific and you did a great job on that presentation, there's no way to have an accurate understanding of yourself. Lies put a smudge on an interaction, and if it's easy to lie to people in minor ways, it becomes easier to lie in bigger ways.

You say in the book that recent DNA evidence suggests that 10% of people have fathers other than the men they believe conceived them. So is lying pretty widespread in our intimate lives too?
Research shows we lie less to people that we are close to. But when we do, they tend to be the bigger types of lies. And the fallout is greater if the deception is discovered.

You show how lying is a social skill. Does that mean it's part of an evolutionary legacy?
I don't think lying is genetically programmed. We learn to lie. We teach our kids to be effective liars by modeling deceitful behavior.

In your book, you offer a way to cut back on lies. What's the "AHA!" remedy?
AHA! stands for active honesty assessment. We need to be aware of the possibility that people are lying to us, and we need to demand honesty in other people. Otherwise we will get a canned affirmation. At the same time, we have to demand honesty of ourselves. We have to be the kind of people who don't tell white lies. We don't have to be cruel and totally blunt, but we have to convey information honestly. The paradox here is that if you are 100% honest and blunt, you will not be a popular person. Honesty is the best policy. But it's not a perfect policy.

本文来源:http://www.feic31.com/yingyuziliao/79977.html

为您推荐

赵丽萍_揭开赵丽词汇的神秘面纱之词根、词缀记忆法(三)

cess系列:cess作为词根是:走入access:接近[助记]ac(辅音双写,前面加a):一再。“一再走过去”——接近。[词组]have ac[db:cate]

2020-10-09 22:14:13   赵丽芝老李   赵丽芝全文阅读  

[歼十余旭坠机真实现场]学习余旭心得体会_余旭事迹心得

余旭是祖国天空上的一道绚丽的彩虹,永远的留在了蔚蓝色的天空中,余旭是祖国大地的一座山峰秀美壮丽,永远告别了祖国母亲的怀抱,余旭牺牲了,但是余旭的精神值得我们去学习,下面就是学习余旭心得体会,请参考阅读[db:cate]

2020-10-06 08:13:01   女飞行员余旭光荣牺性  

如何长时间在线|如何长时间 + 高效的学习

两天前在某处做了一个时间管理的分享,反馈还好,于是整理了一下内容,分享给大家,希望有所帮助,推荐拖延症、对日程表感兴趣,希望提升工作效率的朋友阅读。1,如何长时间高效学习,我觉得应该分成两部分。[db:cate]

2020-10-02 08:13:27   手机长时间不用   长时间曝光   长时间看电脑  

【搜狗浏览器】巧用搜狗快速输入特殊字符与表情字符画

凭借出色的输入体验,搜狗拼音输入法可谓红遍网络,但凡使用拼音输入法的人,十有八九都听说过他的名字,从最初提出的互联网词库,精准的输入首选词让用户青睐有加,到后来个性化的皮肤、方便实用的特色功能则让用户[db:cate]

2020-10-01 12:13:03   搜狗翻译   搜狗阅读  

[wps文字2013在打印的时间]WPS文字2013在打印的时候设置装订线

为了节省纸张,我们很多情况下都选择双面打印,但是,这也带来了一些问题。如果装订线没设置或者设置不当,那么在装订成册的时候极有可能覆盖文字,影响阅读。下面我就告诉大家一些避免的方法。①打开WPS文字20[db:cate]

2020-09-20 18:18:05   wps文字怎么横向打印   wps怎么打印横版文字   wps文字怎么打印